School and Death

It's been a couple days since I came back from the camping trip I was on last Monday-Tuesday and I just have a few updates for this week.

First and least important (or most for some people) I start school next Tuesday. August 24 I return to the seemingly endless cycle of "learning" I'm honestly anxious about coming back. I don't remember where I left off as far as my grades are concerned. I still don't know how I did on my STAR Test (Standardized Testing And Results) which is something I should know by now. School always makes me stress, the only class I'm looking forward to is History, somehow it's the one class that I'm even slightly interested in. It also happens to be where I do my best writing!

Once Tuesday comes around everything will be topsy-turvey and annoyingly busy. I will be continuing my radio show on a weekly basis and every other week I'll still attempt to be a part of the SafeHaven Podcast however doing so will be much more difficult with homework and such. Sadly my reading will also slow down because of this but I will figure something out to still finish my list by the end of the year. Unfortunately school won't be the only thing hindering what I love doing, my obligations to raising money for my Youth & Government trips will suck up some time, and my lunch time where I can do more reading will also be hindered by my Youth Advisory Council (YAC) and Peer Mentor meetings. I generally feel that this year is gonna be a pain in my ass, especially because this is the year that College becomes a much more tangible concept, and I have to take the SATs and I am going to strive to get my driver's license. It's times like this I appreciate the good ol' days. I sorely miss being able to just goof off and not have any responsibilities. I miss not being relied upon for things, It's all too much too fast in my opinion. I don't like it. I don't want to grow up, but I know that I can't go back to being a kid.

None of us can. All we can do is to make the best of where we are and attempt or succeed in steering ourselves to our own destinations. We all are going to just have to suck it up and live.

Then of course Die.

I know it's a grim subject that few of us allow ourselves to think about but you can't think about the future without at some point dwelling on the fact that you are going to die.

I don't often dwell on the subject, it leaves me feeling empty and scared to think someday I'm going to keel over and just stop. I don't know if anything happens to my consciousness afterwards, that is of course what scares me the most. Not knowing, I don't want to just cease to be unfortunately that may be exactly what happens. Or perhaps I'll burn in hell for some sin or another. However if that's the case I'm not burning among strangers. Maybe I'll get into some kind of heaven or perhaps there is no heaven or hell just one place where all souls go after passing away. No one knows for sure, but death is very real. Just as real as growing up. Just like how I don't want to grow up, I don't want to die. I would crawl into a hole if I knew it would keep me alive forever.

Rather that's what I "wish" I would do. I know doing something like that is no better than dying so I may as well get out there and LIVE. Don't get me wrong I'm scared to death of Death, but I have come to realize I can't do anything about death. It sucks but that's life I guess.

anyway I hope you enjoyed my rant on growing up and my half-assed thoughts on Death. I'll probably elaborate on my past week in general from a blurb about my camping to the book that came in while I was gone that I am absolutely adoring!

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

Explanations of the Mud

If you have been a regular visitor of Anglemeister Chronicles or if you know me personally then you may have noticed that quite a lot of my blog entries of the past 3 years have disappeared. What happened is, I took them down.

I was once of the mind that once they were published, I should leave them up there, it showed how much I matured as a blogger and as a person in general. However now that my blog has begun to attract a bit more attention I realize that keeping posts of me sharing a link or a single picture are pointless. I jotted down the titles and dates they were published before deleting them. As for the remaining posts, I cleaned up all the early posts, making them slightly more articulate, even joining several entries into a single umbrella post. Honestly I was appalled by just how bad most of these posts were and more than a little embarrassed that I once thought I should leave them up. this resulted in a blog whose post count went back down to 37 posts, which is quite a ways of the 54 posts I once had but It won't be long before I make up for it. I may have to change the title of what once was my 50th blog post but it does give me time to gain more readers and actually do something special for the 50th.

As for everything else in my life, it's not doing so bad, I'm going on a camping trip tomorrow, so that's going to be good fun! The price I pay for this trip is sadly, one day off the air. I quite enjoy doing my radio shows, even if I don't speak much. However, It is only one show and I'll be back to it the next week. Also I've made some progress on my reading list.

In case you don't remember:
1) A Dirty Job
2) The Science of Fear
3) Neuromancer
4) Nightwatch
5) The Maze Runner
6) The Twilight Gods

I started "A Dirty Job" I like the humor but I haven't decided if I like the book itself. Still haven't touched The Science of Fear but if memory serves it wasn't bad, I just have trouble getting used to nonfiction. Neuromancer hasn't come in yet and I may just download it for the Kindle App. Nightwatch hasn't even been cracked open yet. The Maze Runner, has just started sucking me in to the story, I'm currently on chapter 5. If you've kept up with my tweets, you'll know I've been frustrated by the fact that it still hasn't arrived, I already checked the mail today but I'm about to go once again to double check, and yes I know it's Sunday but I want the book already! Beyond this book list, I did order another book for my iKindle which is what I am calling my iPod Touch when I'm using the Kindle App. I have decided. The book is called Cat in the Cradle which has me on chapter 12 after my 2nd day reading it, I'm going to set it down today to continue with the list above but know that Cat in the Cradle is part of my list now. That's 28 now I think.

I don't know when I'm going to record my next podcast, today would be a good day but I don't know what to say just yet. I may talk about my 2010 Book Challenge. As for writing I as usual am stuck in the mud, I've gotten a rope though and am trying to pull myself out. No worries!

That's all I've got for now but keep an eye on Anglemeister Chronicles and don't forget to hit the lovely Follow Button in the sidebar!

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

Books

Get comfy folks this is gonna be a big one.

Comfy yet? yes? Ok good, so I recently stumbled upon a new blog http://dreaminginbooks.blogspot.com/ while I was looking into whether or not to order "The Twilight Gods" off of Amazon (Side Note: I have ordered it I even sprang for the expedited shipping so I'm expecting it sometime this week) One recent blog post featured a picture showing all the books on his reading list or soon to be at the moment. I realized since I have quite a few books I still have not finished off yet, why not assemble them in a pile and write about what books I plan to read soon, what may come later, and which books I doubt I'll ever EVER open again. I originally thought I'd be able to count it on just two hands, when I gathered ALL the books I never finished or began I came up with 27 titles. Yes, that's right 27 books I haven't finished. Which books are these you ask? take a deep breath and scroll down

In no particular order

01) Nightwatch by Sergei Lukyanenko
02) Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow
03) Betrayals by Lili St. Crow (book two, and apparently there's a 3rd out there...shit.)
04) The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (yup I know it's for young readers but it's a light and refreshing read)
05) The Awakening by Kelly Armstrong (book two and I need to get the 3rd)
06) Candor by Pam Bachorz
07) Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon
08) Girl in the Arena by Lise Haines
09) Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews
10) Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews (book two)
11) Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews (yes this is a series, I now need to get book 4)
12) Everworld (1-3) by K.A. Applegate
13) Eternal by Cynthia Leitich Smith (there may be a sequel)
14) Gone by Michael Grant (there are two more books, just as thick...dammit)
15) Queste by Angie Sage (book 4, I need to get book 6)
16) The Tear Collector by Patrick Jones
17) Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer
18) The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan (Zombies! I think)
19) Doctor Who: Night of the Humans by David Llewellyn
20) The Science of Fear by Daniel Gardner (GASP Non-fiction!)
21) Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs (Book two of a series I believe)
22) Doctor Who: Taking of Chelsea 426 by David Llewellyn
23) A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
24) The Maze Runner by James Dashner (Kindle Edition)
25) Dark Worlds: Project 31 by Zack Daggy (Kindle Edition)
26) Neuromancer by William Gibson
27) The Twilight Gods by Hayden Thorne (waiting on it to show up in my mailbox but it counts)

so yes 27 books on my unfinished list, this is slightly overwhelming but it can't always be helped. It may not seem like it but I am quite busy sometimes, especially with the radio station soaking up all my free time. It's fun but it does leave me feeling a bit drained, sometimes regrettably too drained to jump into a book and its world. This list is several years in the making though across several years of busy-ness and occasional laziness. Some of these books were titles I started reading but got bored and put down in the middle of the chapter, others were put down when I picked up brand new shiny books out of a bookstore, and then there are the books that I did pick up brand new out of a book store and haven't gotten a chance to read because I just don't have time.

I definitely want to finish some of these books, a lot of them have really good plot arcs I want to see resolved, or answers I'd like to find out. especially before a sequel comes out and I add another book to my list. I want to finally be able to say I finished these books and be able to walk into a bookstore without worrying if I'll have time to read it (it will obviously be a concern but having less books to finish at home can only help)
In order to do this, I have decided to schedule my reading out so I can finish all these books before 2011. I am going to read and finish one book a week, with another being read lightly on the side. These books are going to be separated by urgency, meaning if they are borrowed or really interesting they will be pushed up the list, also where I left off will greatly affect the order in which I will read them. With the exception of Bone Crossed and Everworld I am really looking forward to reading all these books. One thing of note is, I learned that Bone Crossed is a sequel in a series called the Mercy Thompson Novels, me being incredibly OCD when it comes to books I am not picking it up until I pick up the first book, especially since I felt completely lost when I opened the book and started reading, as for Everworld it just felt...meh.

A Dirty Job and Nightwatch are a very high priority since they were borrowed from my friend Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian, who happens to be a writer for hire, she has her own blog called, http://coastsidewriterforhire.blogspot.com/

also, I am currently reading Mazer Runner and Project 31 on my Kindle for iPhone app and Twilight Gods should be coming in soon. I almost forgot that I am reading Neuromancer and The Science of Fear as part of a summer reading assignment so my personal reading assignment for August is as follows:

1) A Dirty Job
2) The Science of Fear
3) Neuromancer
4) Nightwatch
5) Maze Runner
6) Twilight Gods

I'll keep you posted on my progress as well as podcast what I thought about all these books. let the Anglemeister Chronicles Summer/Fall Reading Challenge begin! Let me know what you're reading or writing! Later this week I'll be blogging about some of the different series I'm reading, My favorite Book(s), and just for fun next week, an entry just about (non-sparkly) Vampires!

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

An Asshole

So once more someone has managed to spoil my generally good mood by being an asshole and pissing me off, who is this person you ask? None other than your's truly.

Now before people start saying, "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You have to have good self esteem...blah, blah, blah." I just want to say I'm don't have a low self esteem (most of the time) and I'm not being hard on myself, I'm acknowledging my annoying behavior today and realizing how much I'm pissed off that I acted that way.

Why am I an asshole? I took on too many things at once and allowed them all to go craptastic on my part. these three things being, My Radio show, my participation in the SafeHaven Podcast, and catching up with a close friend.

Now I don't think I've properly pimped out the fact that I now am part of the SafeHaven crew. I have joined in to add to the geekery over at http://southernscifisociety.libsyn.com/ but more on that below.

So back to what I was saying, I ended up doing all of those things simultaneously, managing my radio show which was having issues of it's own what with me being stuck with fucking audacity to edit down my show. another side frustration was how long it took to break up since it was a whole 41 minutes as opposed to the average 30 minutes.

Anyway, I also was participating in SafeHaven, my frustration here was that I wasn't really contributing, I joined the crew hoping to add something to it, but I still have yet to move past the occasional humorous quip. I feel that I was just...there. I feel I should actively participate or just get gone. I'm not saying I don't want to be part of the crew, If any of the crew is reading this, know I want to be there, but I don't want to just sit there. Hopefully when we do the "Vampire Smackdown" episode as I like to call it I'll be much more active.

Also suffering due to my stupid idea to multi-task, was my show. I probably had the absolute WORST show ever tonight. first off I was not really minding the show as much as I was listening in on SafeHaven. On top of that I was running the latest Cybrosis off my Laptop, and for some reason It played but didn't register on the VU meters (if you don't know what any of this is, skip ahead to next frustration. At the moment I can't explain it with out getting irrationally pissed off at having to explain it) So I had no real idea if the audio was coming in at the right level. Additionally, because of my focus on SafeHaven I was hasty and sloppy in preforming my Radio Host duties of reading our Underwriting and PSA's (I refer you to the previous parenthesis) I made tons of rookie mistakes this time such as leaving my mic when I went and played an audio track, also not double checking I had the three tracks in the appropriate order and then having to skip over one leaving moments of unprofessional dead air and fumbling as well as confusion for the poor listener.

now as for the conversation, I ended up also talking to a friend who I haven't been in steady communication with as of late. I may have blown a chance to get to keep in touch with her as much as I like, because me being an asshole I ended up mostly ignoring her as she kept trying to message me via Facebook Chat. Now I was keeping track of a couple pressing matters and probably shouldn't have started the conversation in the first place knowing I was busy, but I figured I could keep track of everything. Unfortunately not. I ended up ignoring her for at least 15 minutes before she said she had to go. She said she had to get off the computer but a part of me just knew that It was mostly because of my rude asshole behavior. Just because I'm doing a radio station doesn't mean I can get away with ignoring my friends in that way, then just go I'm sorry and everything go back to normal. It was just rude of me to do.

You can try and tell me that everyone has off days and that I'm not an asshole, but I think I was an asshole. I mean all the events that pissed me off except for the technical difficulties were my fault and could have been avoided if I had been more responsible or had said, "Look, I can't juggle all of this I have to focus on what is most pressing"

On a new Tangent, I have recently had more stress in my life due to the fact that I have been taking on lots of projects and their responsibilities, I've already mentioned the Radio show and the Podcast but I haven't mentioned I am still taking on the role of writer and am supposed to be cranking out scripts for Furthest Edge in September, on top of that I should be studying for summer school.

Tomorrow is my last day of summer school where I find out if I pass the integrated science course I bombed last year. After tomorrow I get to enjoy a full three weeks before school starts up again. Yay, a whole three weeks were I can enjoy the sun and get out and see my friends - wait a second, I forgot I spend every hour of daylight at the radio station! Yup I haven't put myself in a situation to truly savor the summer and it's practically over already, another reason for me to be pissed off at myself.
On top of those things I still haven't completed a summer assignment I received for English because for the second consecutive year, I lost the fucking packet. way to fucking go Angel. Did I mention I piss myself off? Or that I have to pick up a retainer to replace the one I fucking lost when I recorded my last Anglemeister Chronicles Podcast?

So yea I'm really annoyed with myself right now. I'll probably take a nap and get over it tomorrow but I had to at least vent my feelings however erratic they may be. I'm sorry that this entry was both Erratic and Depressing (again, more reason to be pissed). I'll try to do better next time, hopefully I will have improved and be less of an asshole.

Time for my now trademark plugging of my social networks

you can contact me in the following ways:
Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister