Back to your begining

I can't say how much I've missed writing here. I don't know how many people read this blog and over the years I've stopped caring, the current name of the blog reflects this, Anglemeister Chronicles, MY chronicles. I write what I want to write when I feel I need to write it. Today, I write not because I missed the blog, but because I felt compelled to. I felt compelled to return to a beginning of sorts for me. I cringe at my younger self's ideas about what constituted a blog post, yet I want to leave most of those posts up, as a reminder.

I've never kept a journal for more than a few hours. This blog fills that gap, I have changed so dramatically in these short three years that I am shocked. I've lost my way, it's hard for me to realize this but it is so apparent. I feel like I've worn and outgrown so many skins that I almost forgot what was always underneath. I think now is the time to become acquainted with myself. It seems scared is a reoccurring theme.

From the beginning, I am Angel. I come from two Mexican parents and I have one younger sister along with dozens of cousins, aunts, and uncles, and I mean baker's dozens. I love my family, no matter what they say or do. Whether or not I ever feel like I belong, whether or not I ever feel accepted, I love them. They love me, I'm sure, most of the time. I feel they are simply misguided at times, and I don't know if they trust a stranger like me to guide them through the unfamiliar.

Though, I have to wonder, why does my father act the way he does. He's frigid, he's comical. Where did this strain between us start?

My friends are my most treasured family. Like I said, I love my given family, but I would trust my life to my adopted family. Sometimes I worry though, if I matter as much as they matter to me. This family, I've collected and been collected by over the years, has always been an anchor in my life. Sometimes I sit back and watch my family, grateful. They have been there and understood me time and time again. I hope that even when our lives scatter us, we do not lose our bond.

I feel stress, all the time. I live with consequences of actions from a different Angel. I wish so often to go back and change, until I realize that I wouldn't be where I am without this. Thats how I push through it. I diminish my stress and my problems too often. I think, "that way, I don't have to worry. Compared to them, my problems are nothing." The question remains though, "Then why I am I so stressed by them?"

I am selfless, I am selfish. I want to hear about peoples troubles, to be there for them, as they would for me. I want to feel heard, to have someone to actually hear and feel what I go through, as I wish to do for others. I want to know about you, but I want to talk about me. I don't like to talk because I love to listen, but I want to say everything that's on my mind, even if it's weird, abnormal or downright creepy. I could listen to you talk for days. I can't stand the sight of you. I miss you all the time, but I wish you would go away for a long, long time. I want to hug you and cry on your shoulders when I've had a rough day, as if you were my mother and I your four-year old. I wish I could just shrink away, so no one would notice me as you spoke harsh truths you wouldn't admit. I love you, I hate you. This is for no one, this is for everyone. I can never make up my mind.

I've never wanted to off myself. I'm too scared. I appreciate this flawed life too much. The friends and new family. The potential I have. Even when all that crumbled around me, I was scared. Thank the gods for that, I have everything withing reach. For once I can see ahead with confidence and hope, whether those around me see what I see or not when it comes to my future.

I fall in love with people these days, not gender. Apply whatever title or label you wish, I no longer care, just don't tell my folks, I can't bare those looks, not again. My gender is male, but female and everything else as well. I don't think about it much anymore.

What I think about most, is him. I've known him so long, and know so little of him. I feel like a kindred spirit at times. At others, I can't believe who he is. I feel guilty, wanting to change him at times. Then, I realize I only want to make those changes because of other people, I don't care about those same things. I like him for who he can be. The drumming inside my head starts when I'm around you, my heart, I feel like you can hear it. Everyone can hear it, they must, the drumming, driving me crazy like the tick of a tell-tale heart, mine tells a tale as well. Years of yearning, of desire and confusion. You were my catalyst. If not for you, where would I be? I want to tell you, I must have confessed to all but you by now, if the drumming hasn't already. He must already know, I don't care I want to tell him. I wish there were less stigmatic words but I love him. I do, this must be what it feels like. I don't care at all for the heartache, it is of course, inevitable. He doesn't have the same, urges, as I do. No matter, I love him, and as such will be there for him. Whether he is for me. So I must tell you, face to face. I am scared. Please don't make this more difficult.

---

Wow, I didn't know where this post was going to go direction-wise when I started and was completely surprised by how this turned into a letter to my friends - err family. I knew I would shed tears, but not that I would confess every muddled though I'd felt about everyone. No, this isn't scary, this is terrifying.

the dollhouse: A sick day musing

The funny thing about being ill, you have the wonderful opportunity to catch up on all that stuff that you've put off for longer than you care to admit but you are not usually in any condition to do any of this work to the best of your ability.

When you know you have homework in advance and have a day at home, you think it's the perfect time to do it. Annoyingly my home life consists of listening to my sister getting into some sort of mischief and my cousins coming over to see her only to jump around the house and yell like monkeys. Not a productive work environment.

Still, there is work to be done. Homework to do, stories to plan, and trying to get into some summer college programs. This last one is going to take away my longest period writing I think. I'm trying to take some classes over the summer to make up for those I've bombed and to clear up schedule for my senior year. I really want to spend as little time as possible there.

I hate saying that, especially since it's practically the only place I can see my friends but it's not a place I feel I will be able to stay on track towards graduating. Due to my own immature decisions my schedule was a mess this semester. Several of the classes I was supposed to take this semester were not given to me, some because I was given other classes that someone mistakingly assumed were at my level, and others because of a conflict with another class I needed to take. I've tried to sort out the ordeal with my classes and found it's been a much more difficult task to accomplish than it ever should be when the reasons are logical.

 As much as I'd like to throw out blame in every direction other than mine, most of this scheduling headache could have been prevented with a little more self-discipline. however, a friend pointed out that I was only one of too many students with scheduling conflicts this semester which I did find a bit... curious. Many of my friends took to attending local community colleges to get the credits they need to graduate. This has resulted in seeing them for the first half of the day only. While the majority of my circle of friends is still around it does still feel emptier.

I know at some point we will all go our separate ways, but I felt that it would come after we were finally free of our dollhouse. But already some actives are being let out of their contracts in pursuit of the real world and I have to wonder if I want to take the first chance out, or make sure everyone makes it out alright.

My sick day musings. If I were sick more often I'd make this a segment of my blog or a column. I'm not sure what it would be called.

Electric

I'll just say right now, I'm feeling electrified all over. Driving tends to do that to me, whenever my parents take me driving I just mellow out and focus on keeping the car between the lines on the road. Today I went and followed my usual bus in my mom's car. It takes a road away from the center of town to drop of people who live further out in Pescadero. So, I followed the but, turned where it normally does to head back into town and took the car all the way back home. Now this isn't that exciting for most people but it did leave me with electricity running all over me. I felt like I could conquer anything and that I would.

Those are words that are comforting to me with my current task at school. I have to yet again transfer out of two classes that a) I no longer need and b) serve no purpose for me to take again. Minor inconvenience that made this shorter school day drag on endlessly.

You know that book Geist by Philippa Ballantine that I was gonna review? I just found out that I won another copy of the book. It shall be signed by her along with a sweet treat from New Zealand (Most likely not signed). This makes 3 print copies of the book plus 1 eBook. I feel like I should give some away but each is significant to me in some way or another. Oh and before I forget, she's going to be in San Francisco doing a book signing Saturday, February 19th. I'd be more excited about this except that I think I'm going to be in Sacramento during that time. I know I'm already getting a signed copy, but I'd still like to meet Pip and get the other copies of Geist signed. Sigh.

As far as the review is coming, I've started it but I'm waiting to see what the book review requirements in my English class are so that I can use my review for a grade in class. It shall be appearing on this blog shortly.

I also found (almost) all of my old stories from middle school. I'm hoping they'll be able to help me through this creative drought I'm experiencing. Repeat sigh.

Still, I'm feeling quite electrified. What about you?

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my shows: FEshow@kpdo.org or AbstractDiscourse@gmail.com
Follow me: @Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

I've been thinking

...About vampires. No I haven't but I felt like making a not that vague reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don't have much to report these days that I'm between plots. I'm on winter break so I have one less thing to stress about during the holidays, thank some deity for that. I always take this break as a chance to finally breath. I'm not saying that I don't usually breath, in fact I'm kind of a fan of that activity. What I meant was that I am always wrapped up in something. Usually it's building my stories, often writing, frequently school, occasionally radio, reading books, and anywhere else that it will fit, listening to podcasts. I don't let myself just take a breather often. I'm perpetually charging. Like this:


I'm always plugged into some project or task that I can't just let myself be these days. The holidays are a time of being around the people you love, be it friends, family or both. They're also a time for reflection, especially new years.

Part of this post I think has a lot to do with me running out of media to consume for the break. Usually when I start running out I binge and download about 10 new things to listen to and a handful of shows to watch. Right now I'm almost out. I know where I want to go next to get another fix, but there are other things that need me right now. Like my writing. My novel still needs a couple thousand words. My radio show, needs new content. More urgently, I need to stop being plugged into a wall just charging for a quiet day and get out and use up my battery. On the other hand I do need to slow down a bit and be aware of my surroundings.

Today began unlike most others. I was woken up several times before I finally melted out of bed. I ate mundane breakfast and watched a few DVD's. I didn't burst out of bed dashing all over and buzzing about what I was going to do today. I just enjoyed a morning to myself. No interruptions. After this I had lunch, showered and got on with some of the audio editing I needed to do for my show. That was it. I did go to the station and listened to podcasts still unheard but other than that I surfed the web. It was an unambitious day, but it was good. I liked having a day where I went wherever my mood felt I should and there was nothing stressing me out. Just a nice and cloudy day.

I think I've gloated about my day enough, and meandered plenty. Go ahead and comment, not many do. I won't put in my contact info, most readers already know it. If you don't, check out the contact info page, or every other recent post. I'll have a better and more coherent entry later this week. Well, coherent for me.

Nightmares

Hello everyone, I just noticed I have a new follower on Anglemeister Chronicles and wanted to welcome to the blog! I regularly am assigned to write some sort of article/poem/short story for the P-Town Post, my school's "newspaper" I use the term loosely. Very loosely. I love getting a new P-Town Post every now and again but really it's not a difficult place to get published in. Anyways, the theme for this edition was Halloween, I decided to write a Halloween short story. For awhile I was uninspired and just browsed the NaNoWriMo forums. One day I looked under the amazingly inspirational Illyria quotes on my blog and found one that greatly inspired this short story, there is a possibility that I will continue this story in some way, shape, or form in the future but for now just enjoy my P-Town Post Short Story, Nightmares

_____________________ 

Nightmares

“In my time, nightmares walked among us. Walked and danced, skewering victims in plain sight, laying their fears and worst desires out for everyone to see. This to make us laugh.” - Illyria

The Harbinger followed the child intently; he was no more than 13, with ice blue eyes. Eyes which spoke of all the terrible things someone his age shouldn't have seen. That's why he chose him. Fear was the Harbinger's drug; a Nightmare could have no sustenance but fear, paranoia was just the aroma, panic the first bite, terror the delicious dessert. This Nightmare could sense that this one's fears would be a feast.

The boy looked over his shoulder, straight into the eyes of a nightmare. If only he could have seen it. Nightmares were seen only when they wanted to be, and when they were seen they had already manifested as their victim's fear, not that they'd ever live to tell if they had seen a Nightmare's true form. The boy shivered and continued his solitary journey.

The Harbinger had followed the boy for some time now. He knew that the boy was making his usual trek to visit his aunt and uncle on the outskirts of the mundane village he had grown up in. The Harbinger's skin tingled at the fear that the boy felt when he thought about that place. He could feel the boy's emotions, mostly his fears, and the memories attached to them. There were so many fearful memories, the Harbinger almost felt overwhelmed in the sea of terror, almost.

The boy was isolated, now there would be no one to interrupt his feast. He didn't mind eating in front of the other villagers. In fact he usually reveled in it, but this time was different. This was too great a feast to risk. The Harbinger probed the young boy's mind; he would start small, planting the tiniest of seeds to feed his fear. The Nightmare spoke, willing himself to be heard. He spoke the boy's name.

“What? Is someone there?” The boy quivered. The aroma of fright curled off him like smoke, the Harbinger was in a trance. The Nightmare placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, causing him to jump. The boy madly turned to look in every direction, trying to see if someone was playing some cruel joke. It was cruel but this was no joke for the Harbinger, this was survival. Without fear, he would be nothing, he couldn't allow that to happen, he would not fade away.

He became the boy's worst fear, and revealed himself.

“Wha - what are you doing here?” The boy stumbled, backing away from the Harbinger. He just smiled in return.

***

The Harbinger dumped the boy's corpse back to the ground, his face frozen in terror. He was surprised by just how much he had feared this woman, his aunt. Not that he could blame the poor kid. The things she did, that he did. No, she did these things. That was his fear, that was what he made the boy experience in order to live another day.

END 

______________________

So that's the end of that, If you have any opinions about it you can comment below or contact me in any of the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my shows: FEshow@kpdo.org or AbstractDiscourse@gmail.com
Follow me: @Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

The Chronicler's Return

Hello all, once again I'm not following my blogging schedule, and I haven't been reading things off my list. I know, I know, I'm a very bad Angel.

Now I've already scolded myself so I don't need to do it again publicly. Unless you're into that sort of thing. I'll try to ignore the sexual innuendo and say that I do have things to say regarding...well everything!

Going in chronological order, I'm going to start an October Novelette tomorrow, I intended to start it as soon as October started but I was busy with having nonstop lunch meetings at school for various things I'm involved in. What things you ask? Well I'm glad you asked!

I had a class meeting last Tuesday to talk about our Halloween Carnival and planning the school dance. It's rather sad that the decisions are now being made by a 3rd of the class, at the beginning of the year we made it quite clear that if you aren't going to help raise money for the class then don't bother coming to the meetings. Now there's less chaos coming from those that don't want to be there, unfortunately we had a mandatory class meeting during the first 30 minutes of our 3rd class. I didn't miss the chaos of the old meetings.

Wednesday I was at the Game Day at our school which was put on by the Youth Advisory Council (YAC for short) which I am a part of, we are essentially a drug and alcohol prevention program with a side of peer mentoring. Game Days are fun a lot of the time but It's rather lonely since the afternoons are so bright and sunny now and no one wants to be inside. It isn't actually a meeting but when you're told you HAVE to be there it can feel a lot like one. Thursday I did have an actual YAC meeting and we just did mentoring retrospective and came up with some ideas on how to improve on our mentoring. No big deal.

Friday (yes on a Friday) I had a meeting regarding Youth and Government. I love this program a lot and last year was a total blast to be a part of. We are still covering the basics which is understandable but by this time I was starting to get fed up, although next week we get to talk about sweatshirts (WOOT!)

I'm sure you can see why I would be aggravated to have a meeting during lunch? I know I could quit some of these but there are some decent perks.

1) I get to go on the senior trip provided that my academics are in good standing.

2) I get to get out of classes so I can mentor the lower grades

3) I get to go to Paso Robles and Sacramento.

I do miss hanging out with my friends and being an obstacle in the hall (yes singular) especially since the group's leader, Cap'n Sassy San Pedro Felipe is only at school on Fridays so I don't get to catch up with the Cap'n except in Biology which is after lunch but I must be ever so quiet in order to catch up.

*SIGH*

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARY(ISH) SCHEDULED BLOG POST

I believe I was talking about my Novelette? Ah right, well I have a character I'm preparing for NaNoWriMo named Zyon Cairn. Zyon has the power of Psychometry, meaning he can divine the history of an object or person associated with the object by touching said object. It's a neat little power that will have some hopefully neat consequences as well. How does this relate to the Novelette I'm writing? Well, I decided that I wanted to write something that tied in to my NaNoWriMo novel, So I'm writing a story about a set of characters told by Zyon, his Psychometry allows him to logically have most of the memories of the characters which he acquired from an undetermined object that will be relevant to the story. Zyon feels like the right narrator for this story, plus it allows me to really get to know him before November comes around. I'm hoping to have a lot of fun with the story, once I figure out what the plot is.

While I'm on the subject of writing, I have to have a scary story ready to turn in by Monday and I still don't know what to write, I may just throw together a fantasy story with subliminal gay undertones. That's always fun.

Last Friday I turned in my English assignment in which I had to write a Public Service Announcement, I decided to do one for NaNo. I want to get it back on Monday so I can record it and through it online! I'm proud of this little PSA, it doesn't seem like anything special but I had fun writing it!

I seem to be finding the perfect segues today because I have a friend who wrote a PSA regarding the several suicides of teen gay males. I won't go into a whole rant on this because I am slightly pressed for time but I did bring it up because on October 20th which happens to be my birthday, there is a number of people who will be wearing purple in memory of the teens who committed suicide, I know what I will be wishing for on my birthday. I just wanted to inform those of you who were not aware.

Segueing to lighter matters, I'm still going to the Shakira concert in Oakland on the 22nd. Really excited for this! On October 26th Geist by Philippa Ballantine comes out, Pip is a podcast author, therefore I am excited about the release of her book. I am also excited because I read the first chapter of her new book on the book's website, BooksOfTheOrder.com and I definitely want to buy the book. Not only am I going to buy a copy, but I hope to win another copy and if I can buy a third copy so that I have one for me, a loaner copy, and a copy to give to a friend.

In November I hope to do some more writing themed posts, and/or link to my daily novel progress, again really excited.

I'm not sure if this is in November or December, but I will be in Paso Robles for a weekend in one of those months for the Youth and Govt. meeting. I don't have to go but I would like to see everyone I met there again, If it's in November it will through off my daily word count, so that's not so exciting.

In December I will be finished with the Cybrosis novel on my radio show Furthest Edge, which you can become a fan of over on the facebook gadget to the right. I will either go on a winter hiatus or do guest interviews. What do you think? I'm going to make a poll for this blog and on facebook. Expect that widget up soon.

This is all I'm up to, I am still reading other things off my Kindle app but I hope to finish my book list by the end of the year or early next year. I feel bad for not being further ahead. By the way, I've recently been copying all the stories my friends have sent me and turning them into e-books so I can read them in bed with the lights off, the only time I actually can slow down enough to enjoy a good story.

You know, I didn't think this post would be as long as it turned out to be... I guess I have more stuff going on in my life than I claim.

I do have a number of other things I want to discuss, but there shall be other posts for that. For now, know that your Chronicler has returned and he will continue to be the scatter-minded rambly writer blogger you have come to...appreciate?

Ooh! I just remembered this, I'm considering turning my NaNoWriMo Novel into a podcast! I plan to bring it up on the forums but I wanted to immortalize it here first, but I want to bring in any willing participants, I need voice actors and I would like to not have to kidnap them in order to have them. I do would like to podcast other NaNo-er's novels afterwards but I will just have to see if people are interested. My novelette may become the first installment of the new Furthest Edge, coming 2011 and possibly other local writers will contribute and if things work out even some NaNo-er's works.


I think that's absolutely all I have to say.

As always, my contact info:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my shows: FEshow@kpdo.org or AbstractDiscourse@gmail.com
Follow me: @Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

- Warm regards, your Chronicler

Planning Ahead

If I'm not mistaken, this is my third week of school. The days and weeks just run together already, not good....

So since you could say I'm finally "Settled" into my classes for the semester I should let you know what I'm taking if you have not been informed, and what I was originally supposed to take.
ORIGINAL SCHEDULE
1st Period: Environmental Field Studies
2nd Period: Algebra 2
3rd Period: Physical Eduction
4th: Period: Honor's English 10/11

NEW *IMPROVED* SCHEDULE

1st Period: Spanish 2
2nd Period: Algebra 2
3rd Period: Biology
4th: Period: Honor's English 10/11

Now I should explain the changes to my schedule and why they changed. starting with EFS to Spanish. You see in order to graduate I need 2-3 years of foreign language, now you see I already speak spanish but It's the only foreign language course they offer so I'm stuck needing it to graduate. EFS however is an elective course, thank god because it certainly did not interest me AT ALL. No offense Mr. Vail but I would rather take required courses before EFS.

Also changed was PE to Biology. Both are courses I had previously taken, I did less than satisfactory in Bio and considering I aim to graduate and 2-3 courses of Lab sciences are required I want to retake it. Another requirement is to take 2 years of PE, why? I have no fucking clue. I have other courses that should be taken and some electives I'd like to try on so PE is really such a space taker! Also I really don't like PE, if you hadn't noticed.

I am unfortunately faced with the dilemma of finding an out of school class to take that would count as PE next year since I can't take it next semester and I have some IMPORTANT classes next year that I really NEED to take.

Enough about that though and allow me to get to the fun stuff.

First of all, I made a couple of estimates and realized that in december of this year, I am not going to have any content for my show Furthest Edge. In January I'll be dishing out shiny brand new content that I'm currently outlining and getting ready to start working on. I've deduced that I have two options: One, take that month off and not do a single show. Two, do a series of 2 or 3 consecutive interviews.

Each brings it's own issues and benefits.
1) this means I get time off to focus on 2011 stuff, meaning recording and editing and adding music...etc. This also means people may get out of the habit of tuning in (NOTE: I'm not sure about that one actually)

2) I can possibly get P.C. haring on the show so he can talk about his Podnovel Cybrosis that I'm playing as well as get more people into the studio and get used to doing interviews. The downside? I don't get that break to prepare and produce my new episodes for January which are really important to me at the moment. Also, I have the stress of getting interviews set up on top of school,Christmas lists, and a new project I'll mention in a bit.

I'm going to be making a poll and posting it wherever I can so I can properly decide what to do.

I've also recently been asked to co-host a brand new radio show that we have yet to officially name that talks about geeky topics, it's quite a bit like the SafeHaven podcast I participate in however I am working on some things to differentiate the two besides keeping one on terrestrial radio and the other on the net.

Finally, it's September and for some reason I decided to start thinking about my 2010 Halloween costume or costumes if all works out. You see, I have garments from previous costumes that I am hoping to utilize in making my halloween costume and being able to change it slightly so I can wear the variant costumes to the radio station since we have a new webcam that watches the studio. That's right, big brother is watching the studio....

Anyway,  I currently have:

•  A midnight blue cloak
• A pentagram amulet
• A dragon head cane
• A plastic spartan sword (I think)
• A mask (in serious need of repairs...I'm working on it)
• Gloves
• A broken umbrella (not part of any previous costume but could be useful

So my goal is to make 5 costumes out of those materials, I'll keep you posted.

In closing, I'm going to be doing more radio station work in the coming months, school is going to be sucking up time and best of all I've found a time during school where I can write and update this blog (FTW!!!)

With that in mind I have a couple more things I have not mentioned so I'll save them for tomorrow and the rest of this week.

Good Bye for Now! --> Anglemeister

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

School and Death

It's been a couple days since I came back from the camping trip I was on last Monday-Tuesday and I just have a few updates for this week.

First and least important (or most for some people) I start school next Tuesday. August 24 I return to the seemingly endless cycle of "learning" I'm honestly anxious about coming back. I don't remember where I left off as far as my grades are concerned. I still don't know how I did on my STAR Test (Standardized Testing And Results) which is something I should know by now. School always makes me stress, the only class I'm looking forward to is History, somehow it's the one class that I'm even slightly interested in. It also happens to be where I do my best writing!

Once Tuesday comes around everything will be topsy-turvey and annoyingly busy. I will be continuing my radio show on a weekly basis and every other week I'll still attempt to be a part of the SafeHaven Podcast however doing so will be much more difficult with homework and such. Sadly my reading will also slow down because of this but I will figure something out to still finish my list by the end of the year. Unfortunately school won't be the only thing hindering what I love doing, my obligations to raising money for my Youth & Government trips will suck up some time, and my lunch time where I can do more reading will also be hindered by my Youth Advisory Council (YAC) and Peer Mentor meetings. I generally feel that this year is gonna be a pain in my ass, especially because this is the year that College becomes a much more tangible concept, and I have to take the SATs and I am going to strive to get my driver's license. It's times like this I appreciate the good ol' days. I sorely miss being able to just goof off and not have any responsibilities. I miss not being relied upon for things, It's all too much too fast in my opinion. I don't like it. I don't want to grow up, but I know that I can't go back to being a kid.

None of us can. All we can do is to make the best of where we are and attempt or succeed in steering ourselves to our own destinations. We all are going to just have to suck it up and live.

Then of course Die.

I know it's a grim subject that few of us allow ourselves to think about but you can't think about the future without at some point dwelling on the fact that you are going to die.

I don't often dwell on the subject, it leaves me feeling empty and scared to think someday I'm going to keel over and just stop. I don't know if anything happens to my consciousness afterwards, that is of course what scares me the most. Not knowing, I don't want to just cease to be unfortunately that may be exactly what happens. Or perhaps I'll burn in hell for some sin or another. However if that's the case I'm not burning among strangers. Maybe I'll get into some kind of heaven or perhaps there is no heaven or hell just one place where all souls go after passing away. No one knows for sure, but death is very real. Just as real as growing up. Just like how I don't want to grow up, I don't want to die. I would crawl into a hole if I knew it would keep me alive forever.

Rather that's what I "wish" I would do. I know doing something like that is no better than dying so I may as well get out there and LIVE. Don't get me wrong I'm scared to death of Death, but I have come to realize I can't do anything about death. It sucks but that's life I guess.

anyway I hope you enjoyed my rant on growing up and my half-assed thoughts on Death. I'll probably elaborate on my past week in general from a blurb about my camping to the book that came in while I was gone that I am absolutely adoring!

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

Books

Get comfy folks this is gonna be a big one.

Comfy yet? yes? Ok good, so I recently stumbled upon a new blog http://dreaminginbooks.blogspot.com/ while I was looking into whether or not to order "The Twilight Gods" off of Amazon (Side Note: I have ordered it I even sprang for the expedited shipping so I'm expecting it sometime this week) One recent blog post featured a picture showing all the books on his reading list or soon to be at the moment. I realized since I have quite a few books I still have not finished off yet, why not assemble them in a pile and write about what books I plan to read soon, what may come later, and which books I doubt I'll ever EVER open again. I originally thought I'd be able to count it on just two hands, when I gathered ALL the books I never finished or began I came up with 27 titles. Yes, that's right 27 books I haven't finished. Which books are these you ask? take a deep breath and scroll down

In no particular order

01) Nightwatch by Sergei Lukyanenko
02) Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow
03) Betrayals by Lili St. Crow (book two, and apparently there's a 3rd out there...shit.)
04) The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (yup I know it's for young readers but it's a light and refreshing read)
05) The Awakening by Kelly Armstrong (book two and I need to get the 3rd)
06) Candor by Pam Bachorz
07) Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon
08) Girl in the Arena by Lise Haines
09) Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews
10) Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews (book two)
11) Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews (yes this is a series, I now need to get book 4)
12) Everworld (1-3) by K.A. Applegate
13) Eternal by Cynthia Leitich Smith (there may be a sequel)
14) Gone by Michael Grant (there are two more books, just as thick...dammit)
15) Queste by Angie Sage (book 4, I need to get book 6)
16) The Tear Collector by Patrick Jones
17) Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer
18) The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan (Zombies! I think)
19) Doctor Who: Night of the Humans by David Llewellyn
20) The Science of Fear by Daniel Gardner (GASP Non-fiction!)
21) Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs (Book two of a series I believe)
22) Doctor Who: Taking of Chelsea 426 by David Llewellyn
23) A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
24) The Maze Runner by James Dashner (Kindle Edition)
25) Dark Worlds: Project 31 by Zack Daggy (Kindle Edition)
26) Neuromancer by William Gibson
27) The Twilight Gods by Hayden Thorne (waiting on it to show up in my mailbox but it counts)

so yes 27 books on my unfinished list, this is slightly overwhelming but it can't always be helped. It may not seem like it but I am quite busy sometimes, especially with the radio station soaking up all my free time. It's fun but it does leave me feeling a bit drained, sometimes regrettably too drained to jump into a book and its world. This list is several years in the making though across several years of busy-ness and occasional laziness. Some of these books were titles I started reading but got bored and put down in the middle of the chapter, others were put down when I picked up brand new shiny books out of a bookstore, and then there are the books that I did pick up brand new out of a book store and haven't gotten a chance to read because I just don't have time.

I definitely want to finish some of these books, a lot of them have really good plot arcs I want to see resolved, or answers I'd like to find out. especially before a sequel comes out and I add another book to my list. I want to finally be able to say I finished these books and be able to walk into a bookstore without worrying if I'll have time to read it (it will obviously be a concern but having less books to finish at home can only help)
In order to do this, I have decided to schedule my reading out so I can finish all these books before 2011. I am going to read and finish one book a week, with another being read lightly on the side. These books are going to be separated by urgency, meaning if they are borrowed or really interesting they will be pushed up the list, also where I left off will greatly affect the order in which I will read them. With the exception of Bone Crossed and Everworld I am really looking forward to reading all these books. One thing of note is, I learned that Bone Crossed is a sequel in a series called the Mercy Thompson Novels, me being incredibly OCD when it comes to books I am not picking it up until I pick up the first book, especially since I felt completely lost when I opened the book and started reading, as for Everworld it just felt...meh.

A Dirty Job and Nightwatch are a very high priority since they were borrowed from my friend Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian, who happens to be a writer for hire, she has her own blog called, http://coastsidewriterforhire.blogspot.com/

also, I am currently reading Mazer Runner and Project 31 on my Kindle for iPhone app and Twilight Gods should be coming in soon. I almost forgot that I am reading Neuromancer and The Science of Fear as part of a summer reading assignment so my personal reading assignment for August is as follows:

1) A Dirty Job
2) The Science of Fear
3) Neuromancer
4) Nightwatch
5) Maze Runner
6) Twilight Gods

I'll keep you posted on my progress as well as podcast what I thought about all these books. let the Anglemeister Chronicles Summer/Fall Reading Challenge begin! Let me know what you're reading or writing! Later this week I'll be blogging about some of the different series I'm reading, My favorite Book(s), and just for fun next week, an entry just about (non-sparkly) Vampires!

You can contact me in the following ways:

Email me: anglemeister.lpz@gmail.com
Email my show: FEshow@kpdo.org
Follow me: http://twitter.com/Anglemeister
Ask me questions: http://Formspring.me/Anglemeister

Do Over

Ok let's try this again, I was sitting down starting my post telling what I'll be doing this summer. Unfortunately, the battery died mid sentence and I forgot where I was. Maybe a draft is saved on here already, however I'm not exactly in the mood to pick up where I left off so I'll start again and get right to the point.

So first off, I've got a busy summer ahead of me seeing as how I'm continuing to Volunteer/Work at my local radio station KPDO 89.3 FM. It's a local station that seems only to reach the town itself but it can be streamed online if you got to the site here. I'm spending a lot of time helping the station manager with pretty much as much as he asks me to. This is probably the most fun I've had volunteering or working at a place. Even though I don't generally enjoy work that involves monotonous tasks. I find working in this environment extremely exciting and I look forward to spending a lot of time there.

Apart from that I am going to summer school to re-attempt earning credits for my second semester of Integrated Science 1, because I was a bad boy for not paying attention :p

Beyond that I'm writing for myself to add content to this blog.

Keeping this short and sweet. See ya soon.  -Angel

EDIT: (08/10/2010) I just realized this Entry was posted on the 3rd Anniversary of my blog! I did not consciously choose to re-resurrect Anglemeister Chronicles, I must have subconsciously picked this day to post, it's August but I want to still do an anniversary entry

Changing Course...

It seems all I ever do is make announcements of whats to come every couple of months, and no follow through. It seems it's that time again, But first I'd like to tell you a little story.

It was about 3 or more years ago that I stumbled upon http://blogger.com and was completely enamored with it. It was simple enough that I, as a lowly middle schooler at the time could use easily without much investment into the fine little details. The question is, why? why did I open an account with blogger? That parts easy, writing. I wanted to be able to log my stories somewhere and let anyone with a computer and a web browser to be able to read it at their own leisure. I could also keep a journal of events, to keep from completely losing the fond memories I make in my life, this is because I tend to often forget so many memories. Probably has something that has to do with that time I feel off my dad's truck and landed on some rocks....I remember bleeding copiously. Funny how the truck I fell off may be the very truck I get to drive one day...getting tangenty, and ellipsy, reign it in Angel.

Alright, so you know why I started blogging, now I direct your attention to the majority of my posts. A total of about One post has been a written work (and apparently the text was lost by Google...censorship!) the others are childish nonsense. As the mature (hardly), responsible (questionably), and dashingly handsome (HA! Sarcasm!) Writer/Administrator/Editor/Reader I have come to the decision of bringing this blog back from the dead once more (With Feeling). Wow I've resurrected this blog more times than Buffy's died and come back.

I'm going to return this blog to the glory it never achieved. Seeing as how I have the whole summer with no (time consuming) assignments besides a few English assignments I'll mention later, I have plenty of time to write some short stories for myself and whoever chooses to read them. I'll need to add a bit of a warning here, the majority of these stories are not suitable for children, and adults who are closed minded or are opposed to sexual content written by a fifteen year old. I'm not saying all my stories will be explicit. However, they may, and you will be warned when it is. Also I'd like to have update blogs with random content like opinions and book reviews, etc.

That brings us to what to expect from here on out.Well first, my posts will be more scheduled. How about I post an entry every Friday? Yes? Okay, settled. Tomorrow, I'll post my first story of the summer, I started this a week before school got out last Friday. Be Warned, this is an explicit story featuring two homosexual males. I wrote this as a result of months of anticipation of summer break, stress from grades, and just overall pent up frustration. I am considering putting two explicit tags just because one explicit tag may not be enough. Also coming in the pipeline is my review of the book, Vintage: A Ghost Story. It's a wonderful book in my opinion, and I'll tell you why, next week.

Another new addition will be my infrequent Audio Blogs, I don't know how often I want to do them, but they will generally be a part of the more random reviews and musings. However I know when my first Audio Blog will be. I'm fast approaching my 50th post, It's quite a milestone, especially since I stopped so many times and got back into the groove afterward, rather than let it fade away like a memory. I'm still working on how I'm going to host an audio blog, I may possibly host it on Libsyn. I'll find a way.

So that concludes the announcements portion of this blog, I have a few other things I'd like to bring you up to speed on but I feel this is pretty long for a simple update. Therefore I'll compose another blog right now that brings you up to speed on my summer.

- bye bye, Angel

Anna VS Brenda

Hey everyone, just finished packing for my trip to Camp Roberts In Paso Robles For Youth and Govt. I'm so stoked(?) and I have a few announcements I guess, First of all, I uploaded 3 new videos on my youtube account, a 3 part series called Anna VS Brenda! They just were messing around and I caught it on film, you can check them out here:
Pt 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5OPINtFCZ0&feature=channel_page
Pt 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP3jJdhEdzs&feature=channel_page
Pt 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJF8vd-n8Y0&feature=channel_page

Check em out, comment, rate and subscribe! I'm gonna upload new videos for my next Camp Bob session so stay tuned! anyways I just thought I'd mention all this before heading for the shower anyway see ya

-Anglemeister

The Infamous Creek Incident

Ok, I've got an Interesting story to tell that happened to me today.

So this morning, I missed the bus for the third time this week and I decide to walk to school.
But when I was only about a 1/4 mile I believe, I decided to cut through the creek and field to get directly to the parking lot in front of the school. When I tried to step on the plants in that creek/ditch, my foot sank into the mud there and I started scrambling to crawl back out because my other foot and both arms fell into the mud as well. after crawling my way out, instead of walking ALL the way back home, I kept heading towards the school (Because I was already almost there) which goes to show that I will go to school no matter what! Isn't that sad?

- Anglemeister

Sorry I'm So Busy!

Posted with LifeCast

I've had a ton of shit going on so please enjoy a picture of the crazy hat man above I'll post something tomorrow I hope.

School

Well I got my class schedule today and I start High School in 4 days! I'm too lazy to write a proper Entry at the moment so I'll do another one later.

1)Algebra 2
2)Integrated science 1
3)Intensive English 10
4)Spanish 2

- Anglemeister